Who Does She Think She Is?

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The Nose Knows…

Posted by Joni in About Him, About Me


and so does he. After reading a post about nice smells, Rob decided to turn the tables and post his list of the smelliest things on earth. Did he get his inspiration from that old cult classic, Pink Flamingos, featuring Divine and the Marbles vying for the title of The Filthiest People Alive? The list would make Divine herself swoon with horror.

But he forgot a few items. You haven’t LIVED until you’ve smelled rotten potatoes. We left a bag on a bottom shelf of a rolling cart that we kept in the laundry room right next to the kitchen. I kept thinking there was a dead mouse somewhere, but I searched high and low and never found it. I finally moved the cart and noticed what was on the very bottom bin. Liquefied taters. I mean to tell you it was horrid.

Another smell that I’ll never forget is the smell of rotting salmon. I had purchased some salmon steaks and one package of them (I’d bought several) somehow slipped back between the back of the trunk and the back of the back seat (in my Mazda 626 sedan, you could literally crawl into the trunk from the back seat by just lifting a flap and flipping the seat forward). I didn’t think anything of the smell at first, since Robert had taken the car to Rockport for a fishing trip the previous weekend. I just figured the lingering fishy smell would fade away. But it kept getting worse and worse and finally, after a week of it, I started ripping up carpeting. I finally yanked the back seat out and out flipped this little package the size of a paper back book. One of nature’s putrid little time bombs. I picked it up gingerly between my fingertips and hurled it into the dumpster. Then I doused the car with Lysol Spray and Febreeze. The smell was completely gone within a few days.

Those two smells, along with the cloyingly sweet smell of honeysuckle, which I simply cannot tolerate, are right up there in my personal book of bad smells. (I read somewhere that decaying human flesh smells like honeysuckle, but I don’t know this firsthand.)

On the other hand, good smells are usually food smells for me, such as fresh baked bread, fresh brewed coffee, and that wonderful smell when you first open that new can of coffee. Pure heaven! I also love to smell bacon frying (signifying that breakfast is on the way). I’m getting hungry just typing this post!

Other nice smells are smells I remember from childhood: fresh mown grass, my mother’s perfume (L’Air du Temps), her face powder, and crayolas. Loved that waxy smell.

I have a habit of smelling inanimate things for some odd reason, like leather. I like smelling my leather purses. I also love the way my cat smells. His fur smells sweet, like fresh towels. And while on the topic of that, freshly laundered clothes, smelling of liberal doses of Downy fabric softener, is a comforting smell to me. The way Robert smells when he’s just gotten out of the shower, and his aftershave (Grey Flannel).

Clouds heavy with rainwater, the way the air smells right before a gullywasher, and right after. The odd smell that emanates from a cedar light pole on a hot day. I don’t know what it is, but it’s oddly nice.

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