Oldie but goodie.
Oldie but goodie.
I’ve been spending this quiet, cold, rainy Saturday afternoon cleaning out my email inbox and doing some major house work. Found this, kinda cute.
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
BTW, if you were wondering … I’m a kamikaze kinda gal myself.
Landed in my in-box this afternoon; thanks Jana…
40-ish … 49
Adventurous … Slept with everyone
Athletic … No boobs
Average looking … Ugly
Beautiful … Pathological liar
Contagious Smile … Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure … On medication
Feminist … Flannel shirt
Free spirit … Junkie
Friendship first … Former slut
Fun … Annoying
New-Age … Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned … No BJ’s
Open-minded … Desperate
Outgoing … Loud and embarrassing
Passionate … Sloppy drunk
Professional … Bitch
Voluptuous … Very fat
Large frame … Hugely fat
Wants soul mate … Stalker
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Vive la difference!
How many women does it take to open a can of beer?