Who Does She Think She Is?

Blog Post

Itty Bitty Shitstorm

Posted by Joni in General, Online Life

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We are all damaged somehow.

My best friend uttered that statement in chat a few days ago. It broke my heart, but it also rang true. And it’s really true in the current Internet drama being played out at Itty Biz and elsewhere, involving internet marketers Naomi Dunford and Dave Navarro.

A few days ago, Naomi posted a hair-raising article on her web site about several men who, via their web sites, were cyber-bullying a successful woman blogger and even went so far as to say that the blogger had received death threats. She titled the article Death Threats and Hate Crimes, Attacks On Women Bloggers Escalating, making it seem as if many women bloggers were being targeted, threatened or bullied. And the fact is that she herself is the sole target of these threats, if I believe her. But to flag-wave as if this is a problem for all women bloggers, to make this a call to arms for all women bloggers does all women bloggers, all women, and especially all women who are legitimately being abused, threatened or silenced, a huge disservice. Thanks, twat.

Don’t dress this up to be a societal problem when in fact it’s a problem of your own making, Naomi. Readers, I’m not going to rehash the particulars of what seemed to be the catalyst for this latest Internet drama, you know how to Google. I will say that every action has a reaction, cause and effect. Something I would imagine an internet marketer has more than a passing acquaintance with, and certainly knows how to exploit to his or her advantage.

In short, as a woman, and as a woman business owner, Naomi’s attempt to dress up her current predicament as something about which all women bloggers or women business owners should be concerned (“They’re coming after you next!”) is pure nonsense and just a thinly-veiled attempt to throw her detractors off her scent. Women bloggers and women business owners out there who are not sleeping with their business partners, short-changing their affiliates or wrecking a home or two likely have nothing to fear from Naomi’s hate-mongers. This is something best left for the parties involved to sort out, if any of them have connected brain cells. And if the rest of us have connected brain cells, we’ll let them.

Adultery, infidelity, broken homes, broken hearts, this is nothing new. It’s the fabric of life sometimes. While that behavior is certainly distasteful to many, it’s hardly shocking to anyone within the sound of a reality TV show, and it DOES NOT EVER deserve death threats. Even so, this is not about a torch-carrying mob out to burn the town witch. It’s not about a woman blogger being silenced for her writings, thoughts or opinions.

For that reason (and not because I don’t honestly believe that death threats of any kind are wrong), I won’t be retweeting any further IttyBiz or Naomi Dunford pleas, I won’t be posting any warnings on my FaceBook wall or web site. This is all you’ll hear from me about it.


  1. Shawna R. B. Atteberry

    Thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking.


  2. Cosmic Connie

    Thanks for your voice of sanity, Joni. I’ve been writing till I’m blue in the face about how the drama Naomi has created around herself is NOT about misogyny — and I have even been thinking of blogging about it myself. As far as Salty Droid is concerned, “It’s the scams, stupid.” And that’s my concern too. The lies and misrepresentations Naomi (and Dave) were apparently perpetrating in their businesses are the real issue.

    Unfortunately it seems some people are unwilling to look past the “potty-mouth” writing on the Droid’s blog, and it seems too that many think the burden of proof should be on those who say Naomi is lying or exaggerating — and not on her for making serious or criminal accusations against her detractors in the first place. One female blogger who has taken up the “misogyny” banner read the Naomi-Dave transcript Salty provided, and still didn’t see any real scam in it. It’s almost enough to make me want to give up. But your blog post was an encouraging note.


  3. Joni

    H, Connie. I too was “fooled” at first by the disingenuous title of Naomi’s original blog post. Once I started reading it, tho, I became angry. Angry that she would use a turn of phrase to imply that all women bloggers need to run for their lives as death threats are a-coming. I cannot believe more women aren’t outraged about this small “scam” that was perpetrated on them.

    I couldn’t care less who any of them are sleeping or not sleeping with and what state their marriages are in. Her pathetic attempts to rally troops by hook and by crook, well, this is just more of the Naomi style creeping in. :)


  4. Mary

    Someone re-twitted Naomi Dunford’s post about death threats and I got scared (Kathy Sierra is often on my mind), so I went to IB to read it. And I got even more scared because I am a woman and a blogger. Luckily, someone else had posted also something about Salty Droid, so I went to SD and I read several posts.

    After that, I wasn’t scared any more. All this dirty thing is not about women being attacked, bullied or threatened online. This is Naomi Dunford’s personal story manipulated in order to rally her troops.


    • Joni

      Amen, sistah. I thought she did women everywhere a disservice by attempting to whip them into a frenzy over … nothing. Her own personal drama. Yeesh. Glad you saw through it all and Googled for the facts before becoming what my husband likes to refer to as a “nuclear overreactor”! :D


  5. Annie Sisk

    With respect, I think you misunderstood that post. First of all, to *not* see misogyny in the brother’s site (aka “Mean Site 1”) — that’s sort of baffling to me. It’s quite clearly there, what with all the slut-shaming and the “mom was a whore who got what she deserved” implications. (Knowing now as we do that mom was killed by hitmen hired by dad? Even more so.)

    Naomi could have communicated this better, but what I *think* she was driving at with that first post was “this shit happens ALL THE TIME” — and on that point, she’s absolutely right. It’s happened to me, it’s happened to countless others. Not in the sense of “these specific evil men are coming after women bloggers and there’s a PLAN and everything.”

    Naomi also could have toned down the hyperbole a little, I agree — but even though she did take a few quotes out of context, I cannot say for certainty that if it were me, knowing what we all know now, I wouldn’t see an implicit threat, too.

    As for Salty — You don’t think all the vitriol directed at her appearance, her body, her sexuality that is just rampant on that site, comments AND posts, has the least little bit of misogyny?

    Someone defended him on my site as being “an equal opportunity hater.” But as I pointed out, it’s entirely possible to be generally hateful to everyone AND be a misogynist at the same time. Do I think he treats *all* women the same way? No, but that’s not the only way a person can demonstrate misogyny. He can also, as SD does, devolve quickly to sexist ad hominem attacks against the women he believes he’s legitimately mad at.

    Anyway. My two cents. Whatever crimes or misdemeanors Naomi or Dave may have committed, that’s between them, the specific people they hurt, and the authorities. No one else. If SD had restricted himself to actual scams, and lost the elementary playground bully act, I’d have a lot more respect for his opinions.


  6. Annie Sisk

    Wow. You deleted my comment? I freely let anyone who disagrees with me post on my blog, as long as they’re doing it civilly.


    • Joni

      Sorry, Annie. I have moderated comments and I’ve been away all day. Should be fine now. Comment away! :D


  7. Annie Sisk

    Yuk, I apologize. It wasn’t there when I checked … I posted the above and it showed up. Feel free to delete this and the one above.


  8. Joni

    I left that SaltyDog site. There’s too much hating going on there and it’s like looking at a wreck on the freeway. You tell yourself you won’t look, but at the last second, you do anyway. I’ve made my point, and you have some good ones too but all that negativity and “pack mentality” wears on the soul, no? I guess LordOfTheFlies.com was already taken when Salty was looking for a domain name. ;)


  9. Annie Sisk

    WORD. All of that.


  10. Jen Wojcik

    FISTBUMP. I wrote a similar post yesterday. In fact, I resurrected my personal blog just to write that post. I am sick to death of this type of sensationalist stupidity. I won’t insult you by linking my post here, but suffice it to say, I agree with you 100000%. Now, let’s go do awesome shit. )


  11. Joni

    I don’t see how linking to a post where you agree “100000%” would insult me but … :)


  12. James

    Now that it’s been absolutely proven that Naomi completely MADE UP all of the death threats, just to try to silence a whistleblower who exposed her shady business practices…

    don’t all of the bloggers who believed her story feel a little duped? Used? Angry?

    I would.


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