I’m kind of worried about my cat, a Maine Coon named Simon. He’s an old guy, 13 years old. He’s not sickly, but he is a bit thinner lately. He eats well, his coat is still glossy and his eyes are bright and beautiful. But he’s really testing my patience lately. Just a couple of hours ago, I caught him red-handed, attempting to shit on my wicker divan. That is usually where he sleeps. So why is he now defiling his bed? I had been having some problems with him doing this on my bed (ugh!). And I have some nice, expensive chenille bedspreads and I’m tired of washing cat poop out of them. So he’s been banned from the bedroom. Which is really upsetting to me because one of the high points of my evening is that he’d settle in on my pillow and I’d fall asleep with my arm around him. And I knew that he would watch over me at night because he was always there when I woke up the next morning. It was only after I’d leave for work that he would sometimes take out his imagined revenge on me by taking a nice dump on the bed, usually a day or two after I’d changed the sheets, the little shit (bad pun intended). Is he doing this on my daybed now in retaliation for me locking him out of the bedroom at night? Does he have to spend the rest of his little life banished from the bedroom because of this bad behavior? Or should I just consign myself to laundering cat poop out of my linens for the rest of his life, however long that is? I’d hate for that to happen; but I also want my quality time with my kitty back again. Any ideas anyone?