Who Does She Think She Is?

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Gut-Wrenching Questions

Posted by Joni in General

Acidman has posed 25 questions to any and all of his readers, but he is particularly interested in the answers of these two wimmin.


1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?
Shit, he already knows the answer to that. It’s Robert! And one of Robert’s nicknames is He-Ro!

2. What is your favorite book of all time and what made it so fucking good?
My Z-Car book (The Legend of the Z-Car), by Ben Millspaugh. Do I really need to explain THIS to you too?

3. What does ?diversity? mean to you?
Being a legal secretary for an appellate lawyer, I can never think of the word “diversity” without thinking of “jurisdiction” immediately following. Diversity jurisdiction is addressed quite often in my line of work. I know. So very boring.
4. What is the wildest thing you?ve ever done?
Applied for a “job” in a whore house run by a bunch of Banditos.

5. Do you regret doing it?
It was part of being stupid. Fortunately me and my co-hort chickened out before we could be interviewed for the “job.”

6. Can you drive a stick shift?

7. What?s the highest speed you ever traveled in a car?
With me at the wheel, 103 MPH, March 1987 (my brown 1985 300ZX); with Robert at the wheel, 122 MPH, Fall 1997 (my white 1984 300ZX 2+2).

8. Were you driving, or riding at the time?
See above. Dontcha know I cover all the bases?

9. Which is better: snakes or spiders?
Spiders kill and eat insects. Nuff said.

10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?
Garbanzo beans. Yuck!

11. Have you ever shit your pants? Be HONEST!

12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?
No comment.

13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?
Whatever blows your skirt up as long as you aren’t bothering anyone else.

14. Name one man with a fine ass.

15. Do you watch golf on television? If not, will you iron my shirts?
No and Fuck No!

16. Who is Martha Burk?
Isn’t she a NOW-cow? (Forgive me; I’m too lazy to Google her.)

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
More control of my temper and emotions.

18. Do you eat raw oysters?
Not intentionally, no.

19. Are you claustrophobic?
Only in stairwells. I’m fine and dandy in the cockpit of my car! Go figure. (Maybe because the stairwell isn’t climate-controlled with a nice sound system and cruise control?)

20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn?t have to?
If it didn’t bother me. I have a feeling it would make my neck hurt, tho. But since I’ve never worn a helmet, I don’t know.

21. Name five great Presidents.
Carter, Eisenhower, Roosevelt, Washington, Jefferson.

22. Name three shitty Presidents.
Johnson, Ford and Ronnie Ray-Gun.

23. Now call me fanny and slap my ass. Just kidding.
{{Thwack!!!}} Fanny!

24. This is the 4th of July. Did you set off any fireworks?
Nary a one!

25. If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?
Frances Farmer.

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