I found this in last month’s Texas Bar Journal. There’s a section in the back where lawyers and others send in anecdotes and snippets of funny deposition testimony. Some of it is too weird to be believed. This is one such entry.
From Becky C. (Official Court Reporter for the 402nd District Court), Quitman, Texas, this exchange between a defense lawyer and a sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE) in an aggravated sexual assault case in Wood County:
Q: Was that tear, what was it consistent with, what kind of tear, was it a, can you make a distinction between a fingernail say tearing it, if a finger was tried to be inserted in the vaginal area as opposed to a penis, can you make that distinction?
A: No, sir. All penises come in different sizes.
Q: They don’t have fingernails on them?
A: Not that I’m aware of. But penises cause tears because penises are weapons.
Q: They are weapons?
A: Yes, they are.