Who Does She Think She Is?


Blog Post

Don’t Mess With A Balkan Boy

Posted by Joni in Media, Serbia

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They’re tough as nails and always ready with a snappy retort. My bestie can shut me up the way no one else ever has or could. It’s a proven fact. Need more proof you shouldn’t mess with a Balkan male? Read on!

Shepherd Tangles With Bear; Defends His Flock

Forty-eight year old Blazo Grkovi? from the village of Vrba in Gacko attacked a large brown bear with his axe when the bear threatened Grkovi?’s flock of sheep, which he was tending in the pasture in Volljak.

The shepherd sustained injuries all over his face and arms. His wife made the comment that you could tell from the condition of his shredded clothing that it was a long and vicious battle.

Grkovi joked that all the bears will now be moving away from Herzegovina, fearing for their safety.

10-4, Little Buddy!

Romanian poker player Cristian Dragomir goes up against “The Poker Brat,” Phil Helmuth, with nothing more than a 10 and a 4, while Phil has an Ace and a King. Watch what happens. The priceless quote from this, from Dragomir: I’m an idiot with a stack!.

Blog Post

The Skinny on Self-Image

Posted by Joni in Media, Weighty Matters

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Everyone who knows me knows I’m no Audrey Hepburn, not by a long stretch. But I think I’m cute enough. Okay, so I’m fat. But I am not so fat that I get winded climbing the stairs to my office. I still have girly curves. And I haven’t had to be cut out of my house and taken to the hospital on a flatbed.

The other alternative? A human clothes hanger. And somehow, that’s OKAY with the media. It’s okay to fill the heads of impressionable and sensitive young girls with the notion that fat is bad and thin is good; the thinner, the better. The fact of the matter is that sex and sexy sells. It sells car, beer, bras, panties, pretzels, just about anything you can put a price on can be sold to someone just by parading a scantily clad model in front of it or draping her over it.

It’s one thing to be healthy; it’s quite another to look like you just got off the train from Dachau. Heroin chic is definitely NOT a look I aspire to, nor should it be anything we teach our young women is “okay.” Anorexia and bulimia have been on the rise for decades now. Long gone are the curvy models of the 40s and 50s. Beginning in the 60s with famous model Twiggy, the notion started that thin is in.

The only industry thriving on this notion is the diet industry. And of course, anorexics and bulemics are keeping hospital emergency rooms (and morgues) plenty busy. But it shouldn’t have to be that way. A study by Anorexia Nervosa & Related Eating Disorders, Inc. says that one out of every four college-aged women uses unhealthy methods of weight control—including fasting, skipping meals, excessive exercise, laxative abuse, and self-induced vomiting. The pressure to be thin is also affecting young girls: the Canadian Women’s Health Network warns that weight control measures are now being taken by girls as young as 5 and 6. American statistics are similar. The “Culture of Thin” pervades at the magazine rack, too, where women’s magazines have at least 10 times more articles and ads about weight loss than men’s magazines do.

And as these photos show, there is nothing attractive about a bag of bones wearing a $1200 Armani sheath. If the camera adds ten pounds, these women are starving. To them I say, go have a donut or something. Men: Would you hit that? Be honest.

Blog Post

Moribund Poetry

Posted by Joni in Culture, General, Media


Barren Woman

Empty, I echo to the least footfall,
Museum without statues, grand with pillars, porticoes, rotundas.
In my courtyard a fountain leaps and sinks back into itself,
Nun-hearted and blind to the world. Marble lilies
Exhale their pallor like scent.

I imagine myself with a great public,
Mother of a white Nike and several bald-eyed Apollos.
Instead, the dead injure me attentions, and nothing can happen.
Blank-faced and mum as a nurse.

Blog Post

“Time” for an English Lesson

Posted by Joni in Media

To the perky co-anchor of Fox26 KRIV’s morning news show, for the millionth time, Friday is not Valentime’s Day. You will not be eating Valentime’s candy. Your husband/boyfriend/significant other will not be sending you flowers for Valentime’s Day.

And when I mentioned this latest pet peeve to Robert, I asked him why her co-anchor, Jose Grinan, didn’t point this faux pas out to her during a commercial break. He said that Jose probably wants to get rid of her and wouldn’t doubt if there wasn’t a secret pact going around: Let’s see how many times we can get her to say Valentime’s during the broadcast!

Okay. I feel much better now.


A Beer-Swilling Goat for Mayor?

Posted by Joni in Media, Politix

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Only in Texas, friends. Actually, he’s one in a long line. But sadly, the buck — er, the billy — stops here for the Honorable Clay Henry III, Mayor of Lajitas, a small town in West Texas. Go here to read about the trial underway for his castration, under cover of darkness, by an evildoer from Del Rio.